I’m back! Goodbye Argentina. Hello London.
It’s great to be home but, before you die, if you possibly can, you must see a tango show in Buenos Aires; drink a glass of Malbec in Mendoza; ride like a gaucho across the Pampas (I highly recommend doing it at this place – Los Potreros); and visit the Iguazu Falls – there’s no other word for them but awesome. And, of course, if you feel like you want to, you must also climb the highest mountain in the Western and Southern Hemisphere – Aconcagua.
So this week, A is for Argentina – one of the most amazing countries in the world – but B has to be for Beyoncé.
I wonder whether it was just a coincidence that the night before the Carters’ twin-pregnancy announcement, I was sitting in an Argentinian hotel room, listening to Jay Z’s Glory – his song about the birth of their first daughter, Blue Ivy. Was it just coincidence or did my psyche somehow know, ever attuned to other people’s pregnancy announcements like so many people who have struggled to conceive.
Prior to the birth of their first baby, the couple experienced a miscarriage. Beyoncé has spoken of it; in Glory, Jay-Z sung about it. This and the five year wait for their second child and the announcement that the couple are expecting twins has naturally led me to wonder – although nothing has been officially said – whether the couple might have been through IVF?
If they have, I truly hope they’ll say. I hope they’ll talk about the pain, inadequacy and uncertainty of struggling to conceive. I hope they’ll highlight how much it costs and how it doesn’t always work. I hope they’ll talk about the need to improve fertility education so that women are better placed to make choices between motherhood and their careers. I hope along with their delight at being blessed ‘two times over’, they’ll also mention the possible danger of multiple births. And if, as some people are saying, they’ve chosen the sex of their twins, I hope they’ll talk about the ethics of reproductive science and its increasing ability to design human-beings.
Because me writing and talking about the pursuit of motherhood is one thing. But if Beyoncé does, then things really might start to change. So this week, A is for Argentina and B is for Beyoncé. And C, well, C is for the Clooneys who are also, allegedly, expecting twins…
In Due Time book said:
I love this post. You said it all!
Thank you! Do you write a blog too? I’ve been wanting to follow it but when I tried I couldn’t seem to sign up. Let me know if you do and I can. And thank you again for your support and encouragement! Jessica x
Well said. It’s interesting how many people announce it but never ever mention IVF and for those that do its only briefly mentioned. I wonder why this is?
My story is similour to yours. 45 years, 12 attempts, 4 different countries… I just keep solgering on through the stormy whether, sometimes on my own as my husband find all this far too much to cope. Secretly I feel he is feeling sorry for me. He is supportive but running out of patience. Who can blame him?! So I am pretty much on my own.
You been an inspiration Jesica. Keep up. It’s good to find a similour soul out there.
So lovely to receive your comment, thank you. I AM your similar soul – although, wow, four different countries, I didn’t do that and that’s huge. Solidering on is exactly how it feels. Please do keep in touch. Much love and solidarity, Jessica x
Dubliner in Deutschland said:
yeah I’ve also been wondering whether Beyonce might have had IVF. I’ve head it is actually very common among celebrities though you rarely hear about it. Chrissy Teigen spoke about her & her husband’s infertility and then IVF experience after she was pregnant/had the baby. I think it might have worked on the first round for her. You don’t hear people speaking out about lots of failed IVFs so much though, those are the stories you hear less unfortunately.
I realise I never replied to this, sorry – busy times! I admire any woman who speaks out. I know it’s hard and I respect people’s right to choose but the more it’s talked about – demonstrating the myriad of stories and outcomes – the more people will be able to feel less ashamed and alone about going through it and the better the world will be. Jessica x