I’ve been thinking about New Year’s resolutions. I know it’s only the 29th of December but there’s nothing I like more than a resolution. I want to be brave enough to make Number 1 on the list: Give up IVF. And if that sounds like IVF is an addiction as much as drugs and alcohol that’s because it is. In fact, it’s definitely more expensive than a Class A habit. Even as I think and write it, my heart starts to palpitate because where IVF is concerned maybe I have become an addict. Just like an alcoholic who is convinced that happiness lies in that next drink, I’ve become convinced that happiness lies in our next round of IVF. I should start a support group. IVF Anonymous. Or even go on a cruise and set up The Friends of Spinster (if you’ve never been on a cruise just ignore that reference).

Looking back at last year’s resolutions, I see that I’ve managed to achieve my goal of staying under 10 stone. That’s a result. Quite what I would have done about that if I had managed to get pregnant, I don’t know. But then that’s the weird world I live in. Success has become all about having a baby and being thin. When I think about enjoying my freedom and eating whatever the hell I like, my heart starts to palpitate again. There’s something wrong in all this. I definitely do need my own Twelve-Step Plan. Maybe I can have twelve New Year’s resolutions. And if I don’t achieve one or two of them. Well, who’s counting?

So this week’s question? It is, of course, what are your New Year’s resolutions?

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